Why I Can Never Go Home Again — Discover

“I no longer fear returning to Lima with my head hung in shame over my failures. I fear returning to Lima because I can’t handle the shame of her failures.” Jeremy Huffer’s small town is not the American idyll of his memories.

via Why I Can Never Go Home Again — Discover

TEARS OF HOPE      (The Story of Hope) Chapter 1

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tyHope, a native of Isiala Ibeme in Abia State, Nigeria. Tall and dark in complexion; born on 14th July, 1994; She is from a family of ten: nine girls and a boy, lived with her parent in the village. Her father’s name is Peter and her mother’s name is favour. Her father is a farmer, he works on people’s farm and get paid. Her mother is a petty trader (she sells food stuff) in the market. Her parent where very poor that they can only provide for their feeding and clothing, they could not go to school.

But something happened to her father one day where he went for a village meeting with his friends on the process; he had a misunderstanding with one of the villager in the meeting. The only word that lead to her going to school at the age of three year was the insult…

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Tears Of Hope – Chapter 10


Many things must go wrong when you are after your destiny but one thing you  have to know is not  what people think about you matters but what matters is what  you think about yourself. Never give up on God, never stop your dream. Don’t act out of ignorant and anger.

No matter how many times you been raped or how many times you have committed abortion, it is not the end of your life. But in all these, have a strong conviction, the name you answer is in the past  it does not matter, what matters most is what name do you want to answer in the future. Always bless yourself, say positive words to yourself and have the believe that one day God will see you through.


Nietzsche Fred rich, once said that which does not kill you makes you stronger.

My friends, kindness is goodness in the heart more often than declared in speech, nothing and no one is perfect but it just takes good eyes to find those hidden imperfections. Never underestimate people around you. But bear in mind that in this world: embarrassement, pain, frustration, agony, sufferings, sorrows, problems, temptation can lead one into doing what she does not want to do.


But in all my problems and tribulation never forget God. Your perseverance will lead you into passion, commitment into learning, focus to faithfulness, tolerance to trust, like  into love God did everything in his only time when it pleased him to do. God give me a perfect training to prepare me for a bigger success and promotion.  You cannot be a successful man without a story to tell, but in all Christ in you will be the hope of your victory, and you will become a conqueror in all, that is why I said our God is not a last comer he comes when things become unbearable, always be careful and never allow your problems to get the best of you in anything you are facing. Please do not allow humiliation and tribulation to lead you into doing what you do not want to do above all invite the joy of God, because when you are filled with the joy of the Lord, it will be your strength, with that joy you can climb mountain and tolerate insults, also forgive those who offend you, in all you will be patient in any kind of situation. With that joy you will attain a high life easily, humiliation can be managed. Life span would be extended and healthy life would be achieved.

My dear readers, anything you are facing in life invite the joy of the Lord, allow the joy to rule you do not allow pain, anger to rule your life, when you allow the joy of God in you, my dear you will become unstoppable in everything, you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you Roman 8:10.

Every second of your life teach you how to live your life, get rid of every negative thought from you, don’t expect anything in life, expectation hurt but when you don’t expect anything every moment is a surprise and every surprise bring happiness and fulfillment, if you miss an opportunity don’t fill your eyes with tears it may hide yet another opportunity is lying in front of you. Be satisfied with life but  unsatisfied with the result you produce , that is the best way to keep growing and discover your hidden potential, life is a book, love is a blessing we all need it, always be happy, remember to announce your faith in a new season of increase. Keep pride aside. Do not be discouraged, be bold enough, boldness lead to success and remember that the antidote of our anger and worry is your purposeful action in the direction of your goals. Remember when you turn towards the sunshine the shadows fall behind you, learn from your mistakes. But the ability to learn from your mistakes and grow from it you will be able to fulfill your potential in life, the decisions you make in life determine your future. So be careful with your decision in life, no matter the condition you are, invite God to come and see you through.

Jeremiah 29:11, for I know the thought that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thought of peace and not of evil to give you and expected end. (Hebrew 13:8).

Jesus Christ the same yesterday today and forever.

Tears Of Hope – Chapter 9



Hope returned to the hotel to start all over again. Later she left Oshodi to Ajah and lodged in a small hotel to atleast change her looks, but it could not help, but because she was determined to change.


She worked towards her change; disciplined herself bit by bit.  She met one boy by name Sunday who accommodated her for six months even though he had sex with her but it was done with respect and care. Hope started working in a cake shop were she earned N10,000 per month. She also used that opportunity to learn how to bake cake. Hope opened  Saving Account in the bank where she saved her salaries. Luckily she got another job that was paying her more than the previous one, she now earn  N30,000 per month working in a bar. And she made sure her past and her mistake never repeat.

Few months later Hope met a very good man that helped her, he got an apartment for her to stay, she was invited her sisters to stay with her. She wrote jamb and passed, her sisters were able to enroll in adult lesson.

Tears of Hope -Chapter 8


The hotel became her home, sometimes they will fight because of men. They did many things, but upon all her temptations and tribulations, she never forgot that God can change her condition. She had confidence in herself, even if things became more difficult it never affected her anymore. She became more diligent and more determine to face life no matter the outcome. One day because of their frequent fighting and stubbornness the hotel manager sent them out of the hotel, so she moved to another better hotel, one day as the Lord may have it, you know when you in a hotel you look very different than when you are at home;


so her selfish boyfriend that brought her to Abuja came to the hotel to have fun, unfortunately to him Hope was the girl he picked not knowing that she is the same girl that was staying with him because her looks was very different from  the way she usually look. Hope made sure he became drunk, she led him to the room, where she found out that he was carry a hug amount of money in his bag, Hope made away with his money, boarded a bus from Abuja to Lagos in a night journey and reached Lagos in the morning without a place to stay, she had to lodge in a hotel close to Oshodi.

She stayed there for two weeks which after that she started from where she stopped in Abuja but before she left the room that night she left a note for him on the bed, she wrote: “what  goes around comes around”  that is how she relocated ourself  from Abuja to Lagos for real prostitution.

Few months later, she contacted a very deadly disease that almost took her life at the age of 20 years.

She did five horrible abortions by then she never knew the danger and implication of what she was doing. She never let her problems get the best of her before she was able to get the cure of that disease she spent a lot of money.

She regretted all her actions so she came across one sister around the hotel she was staying, so after her treatment, she went to her for help and she accepted to help her but it was worst experience than the one she had before. She stayed in an uncompleted building with her boyfriend, they accommodated her, and turned her into full time house help. She would wash her cloths, her under wears and her boyfriend’s own.  She was doing it because she had no choice she was like someone who is eating kola nut it could be bitter or sweet whether yes or no she was speechless because the way she preaches and her look is not the same, she look like angel when preaching but look like Lucifer when at home, Hope thought she could endure it but it was more harder than she thought it will be.

Tears of Hope – Chapter 7

One day Hope was threatened with the situation she could not know what to do or where to go. She felt helpless and hopeless in that condition.
She became grumpy and heartless to people around her.

She ran out of the house to a nearby hotel to stay there, she enrolled into prostitution at the of 20.
She did not have a phone, the man looked for her everywhere but could not find her, he was unable to get to village to tell his people about her disappearance so he tried to cover up in other to protect his interest.
Hope moved from one hotel to another, and from one club to another. Drinking alcohol and smoking became part of her lifestyle, she became very useless to herself and her life was shattered. Though she felt as if she was on top of the whole world.
She enjoyed everything she was doing; she sold her body- her womanhood, our pride and dignity as a woman to men in exchange for money.
She went into full time prostitution, what a worthless and hopeless life. Because of her stubbornness, pain, anger, humiliation, sorrow and frustration she lost many opportunities to become a better person in life.
Hope had sex with different men both old and young in exchange for money, she called it ‘trade by barter’.

Tears of Hope – Chapter 6


Brothers and sisters out there be very careful the way your handle your problems and temptations of your life, they determine your future. Be extremely careful about your word towards your life because a scattered confession will experience a scattered future, only God has the solution; only him no other god except Him, He is the only solution. So look up to him and never curse yourself, remember without test there will no be no testimonies.


One day, the man sent hope to buy a recharge card for him, on the road she met a pastor, he called her and said to her: “my  child, God knows how bad your situation is. But He is using it to work out His purpose for your life; at the end you will take the blessings while God takes the glory”. Hope asked him one question that goes like this: “why is God silent to see me go through all these hardships?” The pastor answered and said: “any wind that will blow you to your destination can never be pleasant” and he added this word of advice to her saying “the worst tragedies are tragedies that one did not learned from it”. Hope thanked him and moved on to get the recharge card.

When she got home, she was filled with hope and strength, when the man she was staying with saw her, he was surprised to see her in good mood, he called her to his room and asked but Hope answered him saying: “God knows the best, so I have decided to put away  all my bitterness and live my life the way I see it”. The man continued having sex with her willingly or not willingly he didn’t care.

Tears of Hope – Chapter 5



After some months of staying with her friend, her friend’s brother came back from Abuja and met her after hearing her story, knowing too well that she have no one to help her, he took her to Abuja to stay with him. Hope was so happy because he looked good, handsome and humble. Because of all his qualities, she could not think of what she has went through.  Hope was so happy to be favoured not knowing that she was digging her grave.

When they got to Abuja, they were both happy, he treated her like his younger sister, he gave her everything she ever wanted, he registered her on a private lesson and promised to send her to the university, he also registered her for jamb.  Infact, hope felt feel like the only girl in the world. There was so much joy in her than ever before. She was so happy and  faced her studies.

But something happened one day, he came back from work drunk, Hope ran towards him first, she sat him down, removed his shoe and shirt took his bag inside with the shoe and laid him down on the Sofa to feel relaxed and regained himself, she used cold water from the fridge and put it in a small bowel and put small towel inside to rub and massage his forehead. He felt better, stood up, saw her and drag her closer to himself, hugged her and started kissing her in the process he had sex with her; from that day he started having sex with her. He turned her into a sex machine, she got pregnant for him but he took her to abort the pregnancy. There she knew there is no future with him, she became a victim once again and  thought she was cursed or it was a spell. Hope became very useless, she begged him to let her go but he refused, in the morning before  he goes  to work he have sex with her when he comes back he  will also have sex with her, sometimes he will lock her up in the room not to let her outside, so that she will not run.


One day, as she was praying inside the room alone, she heard a voice that says,  “my child fear not for what you are facing  but believe in God for miracle,” the voice said again “remember problem and suffering is to send you to the appointed place of your destiny”, with that little voice  she heard, hope learnt to how to face life and difficulties. From the voice she believed she has hope, love, joy and a bright future. At first, she thought it was a conspiracy from the world against her, but from that day onward she became more stronger because one  American  Singer Kate Perry says “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”.

Tears Of Hope – Chapter 4


Hope met Madam Faith for her normal job as a full time hawker.

She hawked from morning till night, every week without rest.

In order to save some money for herself, she doesn’t eat what others eat; She eat only spoilt food from her neighbours almost everyday.

She became a topic of discussion in her street. She even became pregnant from the rape incident, with the help of her friend Glory she was able to get rid of the pregnancy. Hope thought her life has come to an end, she was admitted in the hospital for some weeks, after the abortion she continued hawking on the streets.

One day as she was returning home around 10pm in the night she was attacked by five guys who raped her almost to dead. She was there till morning, until a lady came and saw her laying helplessly, she took her and rushed her to the hospital for treatment. Hope regained consciousness few hours later, angry and sad. She cried and cried but crying could not solve anything for her. She stayed in the hospital for few days and the lady that brought her to the hospital helped her with the bills. All this while none of her family member knew what was going on.

Because of the sexual abuse she decided to change environment; she went to one of her friends who schooled in Port Harcourt, she stayed there for about two months without doing anything and she could not communicate with her family, meanwhile, they were all looking up to her as their heroine because she was the only child who was able to acquire formal education even though she was the last born. Everyone in the family looked up to her as their hope. Because of that she was not able to go back to the village until she make it in the city.